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It Has Come To This: Coach Orders Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Opponents It Has Come To This: Coach Orders Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Opponents

A request from the league didn’t do the trick. A sternly worded letter has been sent; an NHL bigwig also delivered the message to the player and his team’s manager. Now we are here: Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy ordering his player to stop licking the faces of his opponents before the start of today’s Game 5. Per ESPN:

Report: The NHL Tries, Once Again, To Talk Brad Marchand Out Of Licking People Report: The NHL Tries, Once Again, To Talk Brad Marchand Out Of Licking People

Bruins dingus Brad Marchand was reportedly asked by the NHL to stop licking opposing players on April 26. The licking did not stop: Friday night, during his team’s eventual overtime loss to the Lightning, Marchand was spotted licking the face of Tampa winger Ryan Callahan. Hard as it may be to believe, a phone call…

Report: The NHL Called The Bruins To Ask Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Other Players Report: The NHL Called The Bruins To Ask Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Other Players

The NHL called up the Bruins to let them know that Brad Marchand should not be licking or nuzzling his opponents, as first reported by SportsNet and later confirmed by ESPN. 

So Much For The Leafs So Much For The Leafs

This was its own collapse, in its way. Sure, it was not as shocking or brutal as 2013, but few things in sports history are. In 2013, the Leafs entered the third period of Game 7 against the Bruins with a lead and surrendered four unanswered goals to lose 5-4. In 2018, the Leafs entered the third period of Game 7…

Bruins Crush The Maple Leafs In Game 7 Once Again Bruins Crush The Maple Leafs In Game 7 Once Again

A whirlwind of a Game 7 between the Maple Leafs and the Bruins was slowly but surely taken over by the home team, as Boston reversed a two-game losing streak and erased multiple deficits to beat Toronto 7-4 and win their first-round series.

Toronto Wins Toronto Wins

Ten people were killed and 15 others hospitalized on Monday when a man drove a rented van onto the sidewalk and plowed through pedestrians for more than half a mile on one of Toronto’s busiest streets. It feels almost rote by this point to transition from tragedy to sporting event, but it makes sense. Where else but…

Tuukka Rask Ruined The Maple Leafs' Best And Maybe Last Chance Tuukka Rask Ruined The Maple Leafs' Best And Maybe Last Chance

This was the Maple Leafs’ chance, and it was probably their season.

This Save Is Bonkers

It doesn’t take much imagination—“if he’d been just a centimeter out of position there” or “if that had been just half an inch to the right”—to imagine most blocked shots as goals. But, goddamn, this one below is almost easier to imagine as the hypothetical goal that it wasn’t than the actual save that it was.…

The Bruins Whupped The Leafs, But The Ugliness Is Just Beginning The Bruins Whupped The Leafs, But The Ugliness Is Just Beginning

Despite one truly beautiful goal from Toronto’s Zach Hyman, the Bruins easily dispatched the Maple Leafs at home in the first game of their opening-round series tonight, winning 5-1. Boston looked good doing it, too—they closed the night with four straight goals, including this third-period highlight tap-in from Sean…

Tuukka Rask Throws Hands At Crease Intruder, Almost Sparks Goalie Brawl

The Lightning and Bruins are currently previewing tonight what could be a very good playoff series next month, and going by this game, tempers will be hot if these teams meet again.

Olympic Stud Ryan Donato Is Staying Hot In The NHL

21-year-old center Ryan Donato was one of the few bright spots in an otherwise mediocre U.S. Olympic men’s hockey team last month, scoring five goals in his five games in Korea. And now that he’s earned an NHL call-up with Boston, he’s keeping the hot streak alive. In approximately 1.17 NHL games, Donato has four…

Rick Nash Is Super Eager To Impress His New Team

Newly acquired Rick Nash is only playing his second game as a Bruin tonight, but he’s already making all of his other Boston teammates look like slackers. Early in their game against the Hurricanes, a rebounding shot from Jaccob Slavin deflected off a skate, trickled past Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask, and looked to be…

What If The Purge, But For Goalie Interference

Every sport has its catch rule, a point of controversy with rules so vague or arcane or reliant on human judgment that fans, players, and even referees can have trouble defining it. In hockey these days, that’s goaltender interference, and the usual short-term solution is that we trust the officials to know it when…

Tyler Seguin Made Precisely Three Bruins Look Stupid With His Overtime Goal

Down went David Pastrnak, Ryan Spooner, and goalie Anton Khudobin. Stars center Tyler Seguin made three Bruins fall over as he took advantage of a delayed penalty and scored the overtime goal to give Dallas a 3-2 win over Boston today.

The Bruins Can't Catch A Break The Bruins Can't Catch A Break

Don’t look now, but the Senators have won three straight since we all made fun of that tweet. Smart-asses that we are, maybe we shouldn’t have decided to forget, for the sake of trolling, that possession stats tend to show up on the scoreboard eventually.

Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed  Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed 

When writing a gamer, it can be tough to find just the right verb. You can’t just say a team “won” every time, or that they “beat” their opponents, because overuse gets boring, and you want to convey something of the substance of the game. Did they “dominate,” “thrash,” or “spank” the other team? Or did they merely…

Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls

With 40 seconds left in the first period of the Boston Bruins’ 4-0 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, Boston’s Brad Marchand was suspended for whacking Lightning defenseman Jake Dotchin in the dick.

Emergency Backup Goalie Takes Zdeno Chara Slapshot To The Goolies Emergency Backup Goalie Takes Zdeno Chara Slapshot To The Goolies

For all sorts of reasons, NHL teams occasionally dragoon a local, non-professional player into emergency practice goalie duty, just because they need a warm body. For the Bruins this afternoon, that’s Massachusetts State Police trooper Keith Segee, who appears to have played a couple of DIII games more than a decade…

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