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Toronto Wins Toronto Wins

Ten people were killed and 15 others hospitalized on Monday when a man drove a rented van onto the sidewalk and plowed through pedestrians for more than half a mile on one of Toronto’s busiest streets. It feels almost rote by this point to transition from tragedy to sporting event, but it makes sense. Where else but…

Tuukka Rask Ruined The Maple Leafs' Best And Maybe Last Chance Tuukka Rask Ruined The Maple Leafs' Best And Maybe Last Chance

This was the Maple Leafs’ chance, and it was probably their season.

This Save Is Bonkers

It doesn’t take much imagination—“if he’d been just a centimeter out of position there” or “if that had been just half an inch to the right”—to imagine most blocked shots as goals. But, goddamn, this one below is almost easier to imagine as the hypothetical goal that it wasn’t than the actual save that it was.…

The Bruins Whupped The Leafs, But The Ugliness Is Just Beginning The Bruins Whupped The Leafs, But The Ugliness Is Just Beginning

Despite one truly beautiful goal from Toronto’s Zach Hyman, the Bruins easily dispatched the Maple Leafs at home in the first game of their opening-round series tonight, winning 5-1. Boston looked good doing it, too—they closed the night with four straight goals, including this third-period highlight tap-in from Sean…

Tuukka Rask Throws Hands At Crease Intruder, Almost Sparks Goalie Brawl

The Lightning and Bruins are currently previewing tonight what could be a very good playoff series next month, and going by this game, tempers will be hot if these teams meet again.

Olympic Stud Ryan Donato Is Staying Hot In The NHL

21-year-old center Ryan Donato was one of the few bright spots in an otherwise mediocre U.S. Olympic men’s hockey team last month, scoring five goals in his five games in Korea. And now that he’s earned an NHL call-up with Boston, he’s keeping the hot streak alive. In approximately 1.17 NHL games, Donato has four…

Rick Nash Is Super Eager To Impress His New Team

Newly acquired Rick Nash is only playing his second game as a Bruin tonight, but he’s already making all of his other Boston teammates look like slackers. Early in their game against the Hurricanes, a rebounding shot from Jaccob Slavin deflected off a skate, trickled past Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask, and looked to be…

What If The Purge, But For Goalie Interference

Every sport has its catch rule, a point of controversy with rules so vague or arcane or reliant on human judgment that fans, players, and even referees can have trouble defining it. In hockey these days, that’s goaltender interference, and the usual short-term solution is that we trust the officials to know it when…

Tyler Seguin Made Precisely Three Bruins Look Stupid With His Overtime Goal

Down went David Pastrnak, Ryan Spooner, and goalie Anton Khudobin. Stars center Tyler Seguin made three Bruins fall over as he took advantage of a delayed penalty and scored the overtime goal to give Dallas a 3-2 win over Boston today.

The Bruins Can't Catch A Break The Bruins Can't Catch A Break

Don’t look now, but the Senators have won three straight since we all made fun of that tweet. Smart-asses that we are, maybe we shouldn’t have decided to forget, for the sake of trolling, that possession stats tend to show up on the scoreboard eventually.

Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed  Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed 

When writing a gamer, it can be tough to find just the right verb. You can’t just say a team “won” every time, or that they “beat” their opponents, because overuse gets boring, and you want to convey something of the substance of the game. Did they “dominate,” “thrash,” or “spank” the other team? Or did they merely…

Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls

With 40 seconds left in the first period of the Boston Bruins’ 4-0 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, Boston’s Brad Marchand was suspended for whacking Lightning defenseman Jake Dotchin in the dick.

Emergency Backup Goalie Takes Zdeno Chara Slapshot To The Goolies Emergency Backup Goalie Takes Zdeno Chara Slapshot To The Goolies

For all sorts of reasons, NHL teams occasionally dragoon a local, non-professional player into emergency practice goalie duty, just because they need a warm body. For the Bruins this afternoon, that’s Massachusetts State Police trooper Keith Segee, who appears to have played a couple of DIII games more than a decade…

Ratfuck Scores Hat Trick Ratfuck Scores Hat Trick

Brad Marchand, Bruins forward and the definition of the word “pest,” is now tied with Sidney Crosby for second in the NHL in points (74) and first in goals (35).

Adam McQuaid Gets 25 Stitches After Skate Slashes Neck, Cleared To Play Tomorrow Adam McQuaid Gets 25 Stitches After Skate Slashes Neck, Cleared To Play Tomorrow

Time for another entry in the seemingly endless litany of stories proving the true toughness of hockey players, folks. Bruins defenseman Adam McQuaid has been cleared to play tomorrow after taking a teammate’s skate right to the neck yesterday, which required something in the neighborhood of 25 stitches to fix:

Bruins Fire Claude Julien And Will Probably Regret It Bruins Fire Claude Julien And Will Probably Regret It

The oldest trick in the book...the Tuesday morning news dump? The Bruins announced the firing of head coach Claude Julien shortly after sunrise, and while the move isn’t exactly unexpected (whether it’s wise is an entirely different question), the timing is suspect. Boston hasn’t played a game since Saturday and won’t…

Nawt A Goal Nawt A Goal

The Boston Bruins came ever so close to scoring in the first period of yesterday’s game, but Devils goalie Cory Schneider scrambled and fell on the puck before it made it over the line. The shot from the camera inside the net is excruciating if you’re a Boston fan, and delightful if you’re anyone else.

Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal

The Bruins were murder on goalies last night, chasing Sergei Bobrovsky with four goals on nine shots in their eventual 5-2 win over the Blue Jackets. They got to Tuukka Rask too, even though he plays for them. Defenseman Colin Miller mishandled the puck and put it right between Rask’s legs for an own goal.

Bruins Prospect Jake DeBrusk Had A Horrific Testicular Injury Bruins Prospect Jake DeBrusk Had A Horrific Testicular Injury

Hockey teams are notoriously vague about players’ injuries. They’re usually categorized as “upper-body” or “lower-body,” with scant details beyond that. Boston Bruins draft pick Jake DeBrusk suffered a lower-body injury while playing for the WHL’s Swift Current Broncos on Oct. 30, and today, he revealed what actually…

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