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Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff

Perhaps when Jon Gruden insisted that he got “a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here,” he was telling the truth, and those players didn’t mention how long they planned on staying. Even the briefest stints in Oakland appear to be performance-enhancing.

Dak Prescott Gets Sacked By His Own Lineman While Standing Upright

The officials in tonight’s Cowboys-Rams game made their own avant-garde contribution to the NFL’s constantly expanding reality. Is a catch a catch if no one recovers what is later ruled a fumble? Did a play actually end on the one-inch line if it was originally ruled a touchdown? And now: can a quarterback be ruled…

Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak???? Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak????

Jim Boylen’s tenure as the Chicago Bulls’ interim head coach been marked by near-mutiny from his own players and rarely-seen open mocking from other teams, but also: the actual basketball has been really shitty. The Bulls are 5-13 under Boylen, a hair better than their 5-19 start under possible future Timberwolves…

Here's A Nice Patrick Mahomes Throw To Drool Over Here's A Nice Patrick Mahomes Throw To Drool Over

Are you tired of sportswriters over-ascribing thinking to every physical motion and intent to every split-second decision? Then you’ve come to the wrong damn blog post! Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes mostly just missed on his most ambitious throws in the divisional round today, but early in the second half, he dipped his…

The Colts Scored A Touchdown Before Getting A First Down The Colts Scored A Touchdown Before Getting A First Down

The Chiefs are manhandling the Colts on both sides of the ball right now, but the game is still faintly in reach thanks to this blocked punt by Najee Goode and end-zone recovery by Zach Pascal.

Duke Beat Florida State With A Wide-Open Game-Winner Duke Beat Florida State With A Wide-Open Game-Winner

Duke forward Cam Reddish had been ice cold for over a month, shooting just 25% from the field since the Blue Devils’ Dec. 1 win over Stetson. Instead, Zion Williamson and R.J. Barrett have carried the load over an eight-game winning streak.

NC State Player Ejected For Flipping Opponent Down By The Ankle

With Grayson Allen on to antagonizing and endangering opponents in the NBA, NC State forward Wyatt Walker has taken up his mantle in the ACC. The Samford transfer was ejected just two minutes into Saturday’s game for the maneuver you see above. Pitt’s Xavier Johnson went hard to the rim against Walker, drawing a block…

It's "Big Dick Nick"

“His throwing motion is a languid shrug, and his passes carve loopy, floaty arcs that seem certain to be intercepted until they settle softly into his receivers’ hands. On the field, he has no obvious rare athletic endowments that explain his success; only in the locker room, it is said by his teammates, is his…

Cody Parkey Double-Doinked And Kept The Nick Foles Magic Alive

With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived another day. (Update: the…

Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble

The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the ball and then…

Refs Cost Chargers And Ravens Touchdowns On Consecutive Plays Refs Cost Chargers And Ravens Touchdowns On Consecutive Plays

A bizarre sequence came to the cosmically correct ending in the Chargers-Ravens game. Refs and replay officials arguably blew at least four separate calls at the 1-yard-line before the Chargers finally punched it in for a 20-3 lead.

The Colts' Rookies Blocked The Texans' Stars Straight Into Hell The Colts' Rookies Blocked The Texans' Stars Straight Into Hell

Jadeveon Clowney is one of the most talented athletes in all of American sports. Here’s Colts rookie guard Quenton Nelson stopping him cold and then backing him up two full yards before tossing him to the ground:

The Warriors And Kings Set A Whole Bunch Of Three-Point Records The Warriors And Kings Set A Whole Bunch Of Three-Point Records

The Warriors may possibly be all fucked up—in fact a good sign of that is that they made 21 threes against the Kings and nearly lost—but they can still put on a show. Last night’s game featured at least four shooting records:

What The Hell Is Jim Irsay Saying Here?

Here’s my best attempt at transcribing the speech that maniacal Colts owner Jim Irsay gave after his team’s wild-card win over the Texans:

The Seahawks Will Have To Finish Out A Playoff Game Without A Kicker

Seahawks kicker Seabastian Janikowski injured his leg on a missed 57-yard field goal attempt at the end of the first half of tonight’s defensive struggle against the Cowboys, and Seattle has apparently decided that they don’t trust star punter Michael Dickson to attempt even extra points.

Zion Williamson Compensates For Brutal Airball With Gorgeous 360 Dunk

Duke is cruising at home against Clemson tonight, and Zion Williamson is taking advantage of the blowout to test the more extreme possibilities that playing basketball holds. First, he attempted a three—he’s gone 4-for-21 from behind the arc over 13 games—and barely grazed the bottom of the net.

Cowboys WR Allen Hurns Leaves Game On Stretcher After Gruesome Leg Injury Cowboys WR Allen Hurns Leaves Game On Stretcher After Gruesome Leg Injury

In the first quarter of tonight’s playoff game, Cowboys receiver Allen Hurns was tackled by Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. As Hurns was fighting to stay upright, McDougald fell onto Hurns’s left leg and broke it.

The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback

Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Colts won 21-7 in a…

This Is The Only Way The Texans Can Stop The Colts From Scoring

The Colts have a 21-0 lead and a ridiculous 20 first downs at halftime against the Texans, and it would likely be 35-0 if not for two plays.

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