Joanna Rothkopf's posts - Chinese uPOST

I Did It for the Blog

This Sunday, I got the worst cold I’ve gotten in three years, forcing me to become a mouth breather. My lips are chapped, I have a cold sore, and I keep snorting to keep mucus from running into my mouth. Plus, I have some kind of stomach virus that’s making me feel like I desperately have to poo but simultaneously…

Goodbye to Ellie Shechet, the World's Only Ansel Elgort Beat Reporter

Ellie Shechet is a unique, thrilling combination of meticulous reporter, brilliant humorist, sharply insightful essayist, and die-hard Ansel Elgort fan. Her list of dietary restrictions is as long as her heart is big. And now she is leaving Jezebel.

The Age of Aquaria is Upon Us The Age of Aquaria is Upon Us

JOANNA: Last night you texted me, “I feel insane/ soaring highs/ followed by dark lows/ moral emergencies.” I feel like that’s a good place to start.

Westworld's Season Finale Has Me Feeling Mildly Nauseated and Generally Optimistic for the Robot Community

The twists, turns, unclear timelines, hushed melodramatic voices, and presence of so much dust in Westworld Season 2 has had me feeling like I am a kidnapped sorority pledge, blindfolded and thrown into the back of Ashlynn’s Jeep Renegade and driven around campus 30 times until I am so disoriented that I’m heaving and…

Mayonnaise Is Next to Godliness in These Summer Salads Mayonnaise Is Next to Godliness in These Summer Salads

Everything is stupid, and so are we. Welcome to Jezebel’s Stupidest Summer Ever, a season-long celebration of our worst, most idiotic opinions.

Powerlifting Coach on Don Jr.'s Terrible Form and the Dark Trap of Ego: 'It Gives Powerlifting a Bad Name'

On Sunday, Donald Trump Jr. announced that he had reached a new personal record in the amount of weight that he could put on his back and squat. “Let’s go, Don!” shouts his spotter before looking away, toward what is probably a mirror, in the Instagram video. “Come on, big boy,” he says. After completing what seems to…

Pro-Life Group Has Nothing to Say About Children in Cages Pro-Life Group Has Nothing to Say About Children in Cages

Thousands of families are being separated at the United States border thanks to Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s unfathomably cruel “zero tolerance” policy. As a result, thousands of children are being kept in prison-like facilities; employees and volunteers are prohibited from touching them for any reason.

Stay in Westworld Long Enough and You're Gonna Cut Yourself Open

In the penultimate episode of Westworld’s second season, things are really getting moving. In the lawless world of the post-regulation, post-human park, it seems like there is no way to get out with your sanity in tact—you’re gonna cut yourself open, shoot yourself with something, start leaking goo.

Ivana Trump and an Italian Millionaire Would Like to Sell You Diet Pasta  Ivana Trump and an Italian Millionaire Would Like to Sell You Diet Pasta 

NEW YORK, NY—On Wednesday, Ivana Trump, businesswoman, ex-wife of the president, and mother to his three most odious children, officially launched her campaign to fight adult obesity in the United States by way of a diet of pasta and cookies. The event was held at the headquarters of American excess itself, the Oak…

Sex and the City Season 6, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Sex and the City Season 5, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Sex and the City Season 4, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Sex and the City Season 3, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Congratulations to Cooke (????) Maroney (????) Congratulations to Cooke (????) Maroney (????)

Jennifer freaking Lawrence, Katniss of Everdeen, ex-girlfriend of Darren Aronofsky, third highest paid actress in Hollywood, is reportedly dating someone named “Cooke Maroney.” Coincidentally, I could’ve sworn I went to college with a “Cooke Maroney,” and that he was known for pooing on our dorm hallway floor and for…

Sex and the City Season 2, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

A Journey Into the Righteous, Risk-Averse World of Faith-Based Films A Journey Into the Righteous, Risk-Averse World of Faith-Based Films

Almost 15 years ago, Mel Gibson directed The Passion of the Christ, a biblical drama that’s in many ways the ultimate Christian film. The movie made $84 million in its opening weekend and sent a thunderclap across an industry that was once considered (rudely, but perhaps not unfairly) to be the dominion of the godless…

Sex and the City Season 1, Explained

For the 20th anniversary of Sex and the City—which premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 and went on to become iconic prestige television—Jezebel is doing a week of posts dedicated to our favorite band of sexual women friends.

Westworld's 'Les Écorchés' Flayed My Brain

Last season, Westworld had a couple of really great, fast-paced puzzle episodes that focused hard on dislodging viewers from our comfortable position in a single timeframe. The result was a pleasant confusion and slight nausea, like a propeller plane doing a rapid but controlled plummet.

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